happy??

From the day i understand how i had 2 live my life..i reminded myself every morning dat i haf 2 expect the unexpected...y?? becos there is 2 much unexpected things dat is happening around me n it hurts alot...but by expecting the unexpected, i already haf in mind dat things will happen so i wun get hurt so easily...but its all just bull shit..BULL SHIT..hurt means hurt...pain means pain... People around me says dat i'm a happy go lucky person,cheerful,hyper,n all sorts of positive personality...but who knows how much suffering i'm facing, how much pain i haf in me...am i really dat strong n can face problems?? NO I'M NOT!!!!but y people thinks i can...becos the condition force myself 2 solve it...i'm oni 17 dis year n i'm more mature den i am suppose 2 be..y??becos of the life i'm living wif, which made me mature so fast..but wat i can do..i haf no choice.. no1 wants 2 get mature so fast..every gal wants 2 be manja n pampered..u think i dun wan?? but can i? I cant.. i haf 2 face things dat not my age people suppose 2 face..i haf 2 overcome things people not my age will faced yet..life..dis is call life....but y me?? y must i haf such life?? Understanding...y am i so understanding 2wards my fren??becos i know y things between me n my frens happen...its not their wrong....the problem comes from her....i'm a very sensitive person n i'm also very observant...i know things happen around me n i realises alot of thing...but 2 make my life better i'll just act as thou i know nothin..i know people around me dislike her n is talking about her..i KNOW..they tried not 2 let me know becos they dun wan 2 hurt me..becos they feel its not my wrong n its unfair 2 me...they haf 2 mind their words in the conversation when i'm around..i realises dat...yes i do agree wif wat they r saying about her...but wat can i do???she has effected my life n my frenships... but wat can i do??mayb people will live life happier without me around becos there is no more need 4 them 2 hide things from me 2 prevent hurting me...becos no matter they hide anot it still hurts..but gal.. thanks 4 being there... family...wat kind of family i haf??brothers betraying me?? parents who dont understands me??outsiders who is bothering my life n making my life more misserable??who wants 2 live in such family....but do i haf a choice?? NO I DON'T....dis is my family.. Shedding tears alone under the blanket in the nite is the oni thing i can do... FRIENDS is the oni way i get my happiness...they brought me alot of joy.. thanks u so much... How i wish there is a place which i can go..leaving all this SHITs off my life.. BUT IN REALITY THERE IZZIT SUCH PLACE...i hafta live the life i'm living now...n i truly HATES it n it SUCK..... *i'm glad dat my kalyana mitra's understands me* u know who u r!! =>